The Wimp

I want to bitch slap an old man. Granny and me, both undeniable cynics, were actually excited for her date with Thomas. I imagined there’d be a dramatic embrace, maybe even some watering of the eyes, possibly a slight tap on the behind and a cheeky wink… But no, Thomas didn’t even sit down for a cup of coffee.

As Granny walked into the café she recognized him as the man in the stained hoodie and Bermuda shorts. She told me, “The other guys I’ve been going out with at least appeared like they wanted to look good, they missed by a mile but they gave it a shot. This one didn’t give a shit from the get go.”

In her reenactment of the meeting, she approached with a coy smile, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “You must be Thomas.” He then looked at her, slightly bewildered and explained that he had an appointment he was late for then skedaddled out the door. He didn’t even give her five minutes.

Poor Granny was left at the café without a coffee, date, or clue on the WTF this bastard’s problem was. She called me from the parking lot to debrief:


Rejection sucks at every age but as an older woman I think the sting can feel harsher. Putting yourself out there in the online world can be ego crushing to begin with, but someone blowing you off online is incomparable to the blow of a face-to-face dismissal.

Granny is a tough cookie, I know she’ll bounce back but the experience really deterred her enthusiasm. We went through possible scenarios to explain Thomas’ behavior: Maybe her beauty intimidated him (I’ve seen his picture, she is way out of his league). Maybe the realness of the online dating world became too much to handle. Maybe he was really bad at making schedules. Maybe he was afraid of having his heartbroken. Maybe all he really wanted was a phone companion. Whatever the reason, we’ll never know. All we know is that he’s a wimp and I hope he breaks out in a bad case of hives.

4 Comments on “The Wimp”

  1. helensadornmentsblog says:

    What a mean old man. I think this would be the hardest part of on line dating. It is pretty cut throat. Tell your granny she is just too good for him.

  2. Hannah says:

    Maybe he has alzheimer’s and forgot what he was supposed to be doing. Granny doesn’t want someone she has to take care of, good riddance to Thomas.

  3. aw says:

    he was probably just supremely nervous and made the awkward decision to leave– don’t take it personally granny!

  4. […] a love slave driver, whipping my vibrant Granny into romantic shape. Sadly though, ever since the Thomas debacle of 2011 Granny’s dating spirits have been low. “I’m feelin’ gun shy, kid,” she […]

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