Bully

Last  month I received a message from Drew who responded to the line in my profile: “You should message me if: You’re not creepy and you are wearing a shirt in your pic.”

Drew: all i have to do is be shirtfull for you to love me huh? that’s easy. hi there, i’m drew. hi. hi hi.

Me: hi. hi. hi. i never promised love in exchange for a shirt, but it helps

And so it began. We bantered back and forth for weeks until we finally locked down a date. I suggested meeting at a bar downtown but he told me we couldn’t go there because it would be “awkward” for him due to an “incident” with one of their bartenders. Perhaps I should have read this as a warning sign.

We ended up going to a bar of his choice, one where he had safely not slept with any of the staff. When I arrived he was waiting at the bar with a bottle a wine. Bold move, not only did he pick our poison but he got a whole bottle which meant multiple drinks.

Our get to know you bit quickly turned into entertaining reenactments of other OKCupid dates and reveals on past relationships. Typically I wouldn’t think that kind of chat is appropriate for a first date but it was comical and since I already knew he had a promiscuous streak, it felt organic.

“I date older women, you’re too young for me,” he said. He was 31 and I am 24. Facts we already knew from our profiles. He was trying reverse psychology on me. I grew up with Granny; I am no stranger to this technique.

We spent the majority of the date critiquing each other. He didn’t like my shirt. I didn’t like his tie. I didn’t believe he was really 6’1. He didn’t like the neighborhood I live in. “I can see why you need to be online dating,” he teased.

“I can guess why you need to overcompensate with arrogance,” I replied.

The bickering went back and forth, falling somewhere between silly and sadistic. By the end of the date I wasn’t sure if we were buds, enemies, or potential lovers. As soon as I jumped in a cab he texted: “See how normal I can be? It doesn’t last long…”

I replied, “I’m worried. Psych. You should be terrified.”

“I’ve fried bigger fish than you toots,” he warned. Oh, he’s a bully, but so am I…


6 Comments on “Bully”

  1. James W. says:

    Maybe we could chat and I could get some tips on dating?

  2. helensadornmentsblog says:

    Ohh, watch out for this one. Interesting date though.

  3. Hey, at least his messages pack a punch. So many guys right dumb messages. You’d think that with so many women posting on their profiles that they want a man with sense of humor, that more men would write messages that are funny like this one. Hope he ends up being a keeper. We can all learn from these online dating tips.

  4. Chantel says:

    Apparently I’m alone here, but this guy has revealed to you who he is…”I’ve fried bigger fish than you toots.” This guy needs therapy. Who wants a relationship that is always contentious? His arrogance and narcissism ooze contempt. I say, if you’ve CLEARLY identified this guy as a “Bully,” then keep it moving!


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