No GroovePosted: November 26, 2011
Maybe it was his overt display of masculinity. Maybe it was the exercise endorphins my body was releasing. Maybe it was the excitement of something new. Or maybe it was his gym shorts. Whatever it was, it wasn’t there on our second date.
I was excited to see Justin again. We had almost nothing in common which was an intriguing attraction during our rock-climbing outing. Unfortunately on the second date it didn’t get the same juices flowing. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a very interesting guy, but I don’t have plans to mount him anymore.
It was 7:00pm, we were one beer in when we fell into a lull of conversation. “Wanna do a shot?” he asked with the enthusiasm of a college sorority girl. I did not want to do a shot. I am no wet noodle, I like to cut loose, but a shot felt like it was forcing the mood. You only begin taking shots at 7:00pm if you are preparing for a rager, getting over a rager, an alcoholic, or in college. I didn’t qualify for any of those things. “I usually don’t drink beer, I prefer dirty martinis, extra dirty,” he said. I laughed thinking he was joking but he stared back dead serious.
He kept the same serious expression when he told me about his hip-hop dance team. He is a tall, white, computer programming, cardigan-wearing, soft-spoken man. When he explained the part of class where they “just groove” I couldn’t help but chuckle. The image of a group of gangly white men “grooving” warrants a laugh. He didn’t find it funny.
We moved to another bar where he ordered the filthy martini he had long been lusting after. In an attempt to spice up the conversation he asked me, “What’s one secret that no one knows about you?”
I considered. Then said, “I killed a hooker in Amsterdam.”
He gave me a look that was equal parts horrified and confused. Having different tastes, styles, and hobbies is not a deal breaker but not being able to share a common sense of humor is. Justin is a fascinating guy but we didn’t laugh together and if I can’t laugh with a man there’s little chance I will “groove” with him.