Professor Horseshoe

Last night I was invited to what I thought was a game of horseshoes by Josh, an OKCupid date. I was looking forward to a backyard game night but sadly it turned out Horse Shoe was just the name of the bar. I tried to hide my disappointment as I approached him sitting at the counter. He was waiting with a full pitcher of beer poured and ready for drinking.

Prior to our date I brushed up on his profile. I noticed we only had a 70% compatibility match. Typically the guys I go out with are 85% or higher (you know I’m a fan of statistics). On OKCupid you can see how potential mates answered compatibility questions to find where you line up. What struck me right away were his answers to these questions:

How long do you want your next relationship to last? : one night

As far as sex is concerned how long will it take?: 1-2 dates

“Ut-oh,” I thought, “Is this man gonna try to sexify me?” He was a professor at the university I had attended. If he did sex me up the 19-year old version of me would be perversely happy, but 24-year old me was wearier about his intentions.

We poured our beers and immediately got into some organic get-to-know-you chat. Then suddenly we went from “what do you do?” to “do you see yourself having kids?” I think I might be to blame for the overly personal/non-first date chat… Somehow I steered us there and then it was too late to go back. Turns out, he doesn’t want kids. Although I shouldn’t have even known that fact after an hour of drinks, it did make me think twice about him. I love kids so much, too much, I get creepy and overly grabby and goo-goo eyed around friend’s children. I don’t want them ANYTIME soon but to be with someone who doesn’t want them at all would never work out in the long-term… oh shit, I’m getting ahead of myself.

We started talking about our siblings then he asked how my older sister would describe me. I wasn’t sure so I texted to get an accurate response. She replied, “Outgoing, honest, creative, entertaining, and ambitious.” (Yes, I am totally showing off. She forgot to add mildly conceited.) She then asked why I wanted to know; I explained that I was on a date with a man who requested the answer. She replied, “That is a terrible question to ask on a first date.”

I guess she’s right, but she made me sound like a real catch so I didn’t mind. He didn’t mean to be off-based; he was new to OKCupid so he’s still getting the feel for how a date should go. He told me he’d had some weird experiences; he was invited to several orgies and swinger parties. Of course he didn’t attend (so he says) and I wouldn’t either (probably) but I did feel a little left out that I hadn’t at least gotten an invite.

He told me he was oober-secretive about his online dating; he was embarrassed and felt it was a lame way to interact with girls. I reminded him that we were on an online date.

I asked how he would describe our date to his friends. He said the three questions that would be asked were: 1. Do I look like my pictures? He agreed that I did. 2. Is my profile an accurate depiction of me? He admitted that he didn’t look at my profile, he asked me out solely on my picture. (oy) 3. Was there any chemistry? He told me it was too soon to tell.

I admitted that I had been on quite a few online dates, then he asked me if it was annoying to have to kiss the dates at the end of the night. “Who says I kiss on the first date?” I asked. His sex-driven personality was beginning to surface; he explained that of course everyone kisses after a date. Everyone except this cold prude. “Watch how I end this date without kissing you,” I said and finished my beer.

I hugged the professor, we said our goodbyes, and without smoochin’ I made my way out of Horse Shoes.

1. Does he look like his pictures?

Yes… for the most part. However, he did admit to being a master at photoshop

2. Was his profile an accurate depiction of him?

It actually was, more than most guys I’ve been out with.

3. Was there any chemistry?

I’ll say ditto to his response… (only because I’m being coy.)